Are you passionate about the people you are serving? Do you love the people the God places in your
path every day? Do you love the place where he has planted you?
Every place I have been has taken me down a different path.
Sometimes, I have immediately fallen in love, sometimes it takes time. Often it
ends up being a love/hate relationship!
To be completely honest, I have not yet fallen in love with
Kenya or the people in Kenya. Yes, I have fallen in love with a Kenyan man and
I have many good friends and family there; it truly has become another home (…home
– exploring this term requires a whole blog entry in itself!). But it has been
a difficult 18 months and I do not have the same love or desire to serve the
people here that I have had elsewhere.
There are quite a few complex feelings surrounding this. I
have always wanted to serve in places that are lacking in health services and
organizations. I loved my time in Papua, Indonesia and this was a big reason
why. I was a part of something that was not being well addressed and serving a
people and a place neglected by many. Liberia was quite crowded with other NGOs
and missionaries, but so many of the communities we worked with, especially in
River Gee, were not well reached. I felt needed.
Kenya has never been on my list of places that I had a
strong desire to serve. I have always seen it as a more developed hub in Africa,
somewhere to pass through and visit for fun. Yet here I am in Kenya, so I try.
And I go for a year with door after door shutting, mostly due to Kenyan work permit
and immigration laws. They want jobs for Kenyans, and there are many Kenyan’s
who are well qualified to do what I do. I am not needed.
This process has forced me to evaluate my motives. Yes, it
is good to want to work in underserved areas, but is that perpetuating a “white
savior” attitude that I so desperately want to avoid? Last month, I had the
opportunity to do a personal retreat through an online community called Velvet
Ashes. Through this time, I processed
this issue and came to realize two key things.
First, serving only in what I determine are places that I am
“needed” does give me that attitude. I need to readjust my mindset. Ultimately,
I am not needed anywhere. God is needed. God chooses to use me, and he uses
people everywhere – not just in places I determine are underserved. And for
this time, God is choosing to use me in Nairobi, Kenya. Not because I am
needed, but because it is where he wants me right now. God is giving me the
privilege of partnering with an amazing Kenyan ministry – MOHI. They don’t need
me, but I hope that we can partner together to move forward God’s plans in
Mathare, because God is needed there.
Second, I need to love the people that I am serving. This is
not always easy. I asked at the beginning whether you love the people you are
serving, and were I to answer honestly, I WAY too often struggle with that! I
thought I was a loving and compassionate person until I worked as a nurse in
Boston. It is hard working with people. But that is not an excuse, I need to
love the people around me with a Christ given and Christ like love.
Please pray that God
would grow this love for the people and the places that I will be serving. Liberia
was not an immediate love; it was REALLY hard sometimes. But I had moments
driving down the streets of Monrovia where I was just in awe – “Wow, God, what
a privilege that you have brought me here to serve, I love these people!” I
knew that was a God given love as it grew over time and this thought often came
in the midst of difficult situations. Please pray that I will start to have
those moments in Kenya as I begin this ministry there.
And as you pray for me, I pray that you also will have a
love for the people and the places that God has put you. Not because you are
needed and not because it is easy, but because you are there as part of God’s
plan. He is giving you a unique opportunity wherever you are to love with a
Christ given and Christ like love.
No comments:
Post a Comment